Sep 2, 2021 3 min read cheech

Take Me to The Happy

Some people wake up “Happy to Be Alive”. Just look at that doggy 🐶! So joyous, so free! I'm not one of those people. Dangit!

by Cheech

Ah, The Happy. Such a secluded destination. So cloistered, so difficult to get to, every stay so fleeting! Argh. It's not a destination, actually. Although, I wish it were, because it would be so much easier to get there if we could put it in our GPS.

Remind yourself daily that there is no way to happiness; rather, happiness is the way.

Some people wake up “Happy to Be Alive”. Just look at that doggy 🐶! So joyous, so free! I'm not one of those people. Dangit!

In the preamble to the United States Declaration of Independence¹, it says something about our inalienable rights and happiness stacks right up in there, right after life and liberty. Let's not forget however, that it is pursuit that is being guaranteed by that powerful paragraph, not happiness itself. #thefineprint

I think this is where we may be getting it wrong. We have a right to race after the fleeting experience of an emotion that is designed to ebb and flow like the tide. We have a right to run around searching and relentlessly trying to grasp and contain a sensation. We think The Happy is like a destination (thus the “The” and the capital 'H'!). We think it's something we get to keep being every single moment if we just _______ (fill in the blank with something external).

Happiness 😁 is a feeling state. It's considered core affect. Sadness 😢 is also a feeling state. Feeling states are like waves 🌊. They come and then they go. Actually,

“Everything comes to go.”

OLO's resident Taoist would say,

“Happy and sad arrive together.”

Unless we get stuck in feelings (this happens) or we numb them so we don't have to feel the feels, then we postpone both the agony and the ecstasy, because you can't selectively numb only the unpleasant stuff. We also prolong the angst, because not feeling is unwelcoming of all feeling states. Not feeling is not a happy place either. It's kind of a hellish 🔥 neutral, suspended animation.

So what do we do? How do we get to The Happy?

First we must begin by acknowledging its temporal nature.
Then we drop expectations of getting there or attaining and keeping the state forever-ever.
Then we invoke mindfulness around the notion of feeling it all.
Then the practice of allowing feelings can begin and becoming the witness by choosing neither for/nor against any particular feeling state when one arises is the last (and most challenging) part.

It's definitely a practice! Things that help this are both meditation and movement (which are a big part of what OLO does).

One of my favorite Zen texts is called the Hsin-Hsin Ming (also known as the Shin Jin Mei). In it, lies this little gem 💎 of a teaching:

“Like and dislike are disease of the mind.”

Our unchecked preferences can carry us off into a harsh, always evaluating way of being in the world. Witness consciousness just watches the events of our lives as they present themselves. Cultivating a more witnessing perspective grants us more peace in every moment. Psychology calls this witness the observing ego and its development is considered one of the many hallmarks of mental wellness.

Choose less, breathe more, pay attention and learn a little something new every day. The mat is a good place to go to learn. There is always something new to learn about the endless ocean that is your Self.

Meditate. Move. Create. Serve. These are the ways to visit The Happy!

Don't expect to stay—yet delight in your inevitable return.