Equis X

by Shanti Sanchez

“Trust the sun, trust the wind, trust in all you feel within
Trust the stars up above
Earth below, river flow, trust in love.” ¹

I write this on the day of the autumn equinox, one of two days during each year when the moon and sun each have equal time in the sky. Two nights ago was the full moon, but it was too cloudy to witness its grand entrance on the eastern horizon. I did manage to get an early morning glimpse as it exited the western sky. Nature’s reliable cycles serve as rhythmic patterns that count steady time. They offer comfort within the vast expanse of continuous, unpredictable flux that feels amplified within my experience of the current reality. Moving into the fall months when darkness expands and the light wanes somehow feels like a deep exhale, a time to let it all go.

The word equinox comes from the Latin “aaequs” meaning equal, and “nox” meaning night. In Spanish, the letter X is pronounced “equis”, as in the Mexican beer Dos Equis², branded with the logo of two red XXes. Shout out to honor Hispanic Heritage Month which is also happening now. Speaking of X, there’s a growing preference for replacing the word Hispanic with LatinX to reflect a gender-neutral alternative to Latino or Latina as well as to differentiate people who are from or descended from people from Latin America, many who have indigenous or African roots, in contrast to those whose origins are in Spain and the Spanish language. Of course, many of us contain a mix of the above.

The urban dictionary defines equis as slang for bland and uninteresting, kind of like the ongoing debate about equality and equity, just to throw in a couple of more “eq” words. Equality means everyone is treated the same exact way, regardless of need or any other individual difference while equity means everyone is provided with what might be needed to thrive. The political far-right lists equity as a dangerous word along with inclusion and diversity, insisting that such concepts should not be taught in schools because “all men are created equal”. But I digress. Equis!

My eyes get weary of staring at screens, of witnessing the persistence of polarization, constant pendulum swinging, scales being tipped to one extreme or the other seemingly as far as the eye can see. But then I remember to shift my gaze inward to the cave of the heart, upward toward the cosmos, or outward to the beauty of life’s essential nature. And as Mr. Rogers said, to look for “the helpers” or find ways to use my abilities and become one. Sometimes it feels like the ancestors are driving me in that direction, whispering that it’s time to follow my curiosity toward an origin story to share through language and culture. To explore how and why ancient languages continue to evolve as they do, and the impact of our choices of words in any given moment to impact and shape the world.

Screenwriter and actress Michaela Coel’s³ recent Emmy acceptance speech for her show “I May Destroy You”⁴ was dedicated to writers:

“Write the tale that scares you, that makes you feel uncertain, that isn’t comfortable.

I dare you.

In a world that entices us to browse through the lives of others to help us better determine how we feel about ourselves—

and to in turn feel the need to be constantly visible,
for visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success—

do not be afraid to disappear.

From it.
From us.
For a while...

...and see what comes to you in the silence.”

As days grow shorter and nights longer, time feels right to turn off distractions, disappear into silence, and listen for the muse. We pick up the pen or touch keys and wait for the winter solstice to signal time to inhale once again in the victory of the light.